Dark Lord: The Early Years

Dark Lord The Early Years Greetings Puny Humans In your hands you are holding a tome of staggeringly evil genius It is not for the faint of heart or for the whining masses It is for those willing to serve as my devoted minio

  • Title: Dark Lord: The Early Years
  • Author: Jamie Thomson
  • ISBN: 9780802728494
  • Page: 265
  • Format: Hardcover
  • Greetings, Puny Humans In your hands, you are holding a tome of staggeringly evil genius It is not for the faint of heart or for the whining masses It is for those willing to serve as my devoted minions while I plan my greatest feat yet surviving life as a human boy and returning to my rightful place as the ruler of the Dark Lands Before I can exact my revenge, I mustGreetings, Puny Humans In your hands, you are holding a tome of staggeringly evil genius It is not for the faint of heart or for the whining masses It is for those willing to serve as my devoted minions while I plan my greatest feat yet surviving life as a human boy and returning to my rightful place as the ruler of the Dark Lands Before I can exact my revenge, I must infiltrate this world and learn its ways.How, you might ask, is it possible that I, the Dark Lord, the Master of the Legions of Dread and Sorcerer Supreme, could be reduced to human form And how is it possible that the Lord of darkness could be forced to attend school and befriend such pitiful life forms Only by reading my tale will you learn the truth behind the cataclysmic defeat that left me stranded on this accursed planet, Earth But make no mistake, revenge will be mine as soon as I finish my homework Mwah, hah, ha Yours insincerely,Dirk Lloyd aka the Dark Lord

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      Published :2019-06-04T16:38:53+00:00

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    432 thoughts on “Dark Lord: The Early Years

    • I really wasn't sure about this book, the blurb sounded quite funny and made me giggle a bit but it's not my usual read. We have the author coming to do a talk at our library tomorrow so I decided I should try it. I started it at break time at work and managed to read about 35 pages in 15 minutes. It's actually a really easy read. I got home from work today and decided to carry on, I was only going to read for about an hour and see how far I got but in the end I got so into the story that I had [...]

    • I feel like my review needs to start off with an evil laugh. After all this is a review for Dark Lloyd, or as he's known in our world Dirk Lloyd. Known as The Dark Lord, Dirk Lloyd is now a human, in our world and has no powers. Once the powerful ruler of a dark world, Dirk some how fell into our world and without his ring, and his power, he's unable to get back into his world. Forced to live life as a human, Dirk goes through various tests, and his given a foster home to stay in, since no one k [...]

    • I was intrigued by this book. I am a school librarian, and this book popped up in the booktalks list provided by to promote their book fair. It has an interesting cover and just sounded so unusual. Who wouldn't want to find out more about a powerful, evil dark lord trapped in a human boy's body and forced to attend school?So, of course it is the first book I read off the fair--even before it ended. I liked it; it definitely is unusual. The story begins with Dark Lord crashing into a parking lot [...]

    • ¡El más temible villano ha sido desterrado de sus dominios! ¡Condenado a vivir en el debilucho cuerpo de un puberto de 13 años! ¿Qué clase de villanía es esta para el más Grande, el más Temible, el más Oscuro, Dark Lord? Corto, gracioso de a ratos, denso en otras partes. Ingenioso, temible y encantador. No creo que continúe la serie, pero me gustó bastante. ¡La portada es una preciosidad!

    • MILD SPOILERSI’ve been reading quite a few children’s books recently. The other day I picked up one called Dark Lord: The Teenage Years and proceeded to devour it over two long train journeys.I quite enjoyed the book in a easy-to-read pass-time sort of way, but I was more intrigued by the similarities and differences it bore to one of my favourite kid’s TV shows, Invader Zim. The two are relatively similar in story, style and at times, tone. Firstly and most simply is the story. In one, an [...]

    • What if Voldemort from Harry Potter, Sauron from Lord of the Rings or some villainous character showed up one day- except they had been stripped of their powers and put into the body of a teenage boy? Well then you would have a situation like the one the Dark Lord, the Master of the Legions of Dread and Sorcerer Supreme found himself in one day. Dark Lord, who started to be called Dirk Lloyd once the police found him in a parking lot(because who’s name is Dark Lord he must have said Dirk Lloyd [...]

    • I went into this with virtually no expectations so there wasn't much room for disappointment. But even soTo start; Dark/Dirk was supposed to be this age-old, evil overlord which he most definitely was not. His narrative voice was that of a 10-year-old, attempting to be the evil genius/mad scientist. He was almost cute. And that fit the atmosphere of the book but not what the book kept saying he was supposed to be.A blooming crush/love triangle among 3 KIDS??!! Christopher: Eh. Jealous of Dirk an [...]

    • I really liked the idea of this book, but it just wasn't as satisfying a read as I thought it would be. It's supposed to have been written by the narrator (the author as a ghost writer), but it switches back and forth between third person and first person journal entries, which just didn't make sense for the story and for this particular character--there is no way he would have written in third person.It ends abruptly, just as something interesting actually happens, without doing much to resolve [...]

    • Wow, well this was not at all in the style that I was expecting and so I cannot say that I really enjoyed it. I was hoping for more depth and meaning to Dirk's character and his being sent to "our" world. Instead, while amusing at times, the story is unremittingly shallow and onerously modern in its tone and sensibilities. The Goth Vampire Groupie and the cliques at the school. Everything conspired to make this an all too forgettable book that had the possibility to really be something special h [...]

    • Dark Lord: The Early Years is about a Dark Lord, (Dirk Lloyd) Who fights, battles, and cast spells in The Dark Lands, a place of death and war; He wakes up in an unfamiliar place called Earth and this time, he has no powers, spells, and is in the body of a little boy. He struggles to fit in with other people because he doesn't know the "Puny Humans" lifestyle and try's to get back to his original world. He gets the help of a couple new friends and they don't believe he is a dark lord and just go [...]

    • Sé que es un libro que esta catalogado como infantil, lo que no tiene nada de malo, pero ¡dios! Es tan divertido y gracioso. Tenia que releerlo, necesitaba algo fresco, sencillo y divertido. Y este libro cumple con todo eso. Una vez más me ha encantado y lo recomiendo mucho para quienes quieran despejar su mente un poco y leer algo rápido y fresco.

    • I loved this book so much! Dirk Lloyed is not your average middle schooler he is a Dark Lord. His friends Chris and Sooz get into major trouble while they try to send dirk back to the darklands. The catch is that Chris and Sooz don't believe dirk is really the dark lord, they go between believing him and not believing him. Will dirk ever get back to his home? You must read to find ou!

    • My dad loved jokes and pranks, and I am my father’s daughter. The difference between us is that my dad could keep up a joke quite a while; my jokes have to be quick, or my face gives me away—and at my victim’s first sign of doubt, I cave. One year, when a disappointing winter yielded no school cancellations, I woke them up on April Fools’ Day with “Guess what?!!!! It’s a snow day today!!” After a couple cheers, Alex (a champion at making jokes himself and thus a bit leery of the at [...]

    • Dark Lord: The Teenage Years won the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize, and it doesn't disappoint. The premise is brilliant - the Dark Lord, Incarnation of Evil, World Burner, master of the Iron Tower of Despair, has been sent to another plane by an incredibly powerful spell cast by the White Wizard, Hasdruban. In fact, he has been sent to our world, in the body of a puny teenage boy. No Gauntlets of Ineluctable Destruction on his hands, no tusks, no fangs, no spell of Agonizing Obedience.The Dark Lor [...]

    • Falling down down down it taking long the ground hurts open my eyes and where I'am I? My book is fiction it about a kid name Dirk Lloyd (aka The Dark Lord), then he wakes up in a place he calls the human world. My opinion of this book is that it really good it weird that he think the from a different plain and he not a human boy. This story's about how a kid name Dirk Lloyd think he is from the nine never worlds he is found in a parking lot very weak a ambulance come and take him to the hospital [...]

    • A few weeks back I won a copy of Dark Lord: The Early Years from Jennifer Hoffine. I finally got a chance to read it this past month, and I LOVED it.d-assets/books/13341736A boy is found in the parking lot of the local superstore. When police officers come over to help, the boy insists that he is the Dark Lord, ruler of his realm, ruthless and cruel. The police officers assume the boy has had a psychotic break and take him to the station to try to locate his family.But no family can be found. Th [...]

    • Check out all my reviews at Kenn's ReviewsDark Lord was, I believe, written for children between the ages of 8 and 12. However I decided to read it anyways and I am glad I did. I found this book compelling as I was thrown into a Dark Lord’s worst nightmare. The author’s writing drew me in and I loved feeling like I was part of the action. The Dark Lord was thrown from his plane of existence by the White Wizard and deposited on Earth, either by accident or as a punishment. On Earth his soul w [...]

    • Curses on the White Wizard, Hasdruban the Pure! In a battle that the Dark Lord was surely winning, Hasdruban managed to send the Dark Lord into our world, where he was turned into a puny human boy. Beset by social workers and pyschologists, he is mistakenly called Dirk and sent to live with a doctor and a minister and their son Christopher. Even his Ring of Power is dull and useless. At his school, he manages to make friends with Sooz, a Goth Child of the Night, and gives the Ring to her when sh [...]

    • Der Dark Lord wurde verflucht und findet sich plötzlich auf der Erde wieder. Sehr zu seinem Leid hat er an Größe und Macht stark eingebüßt, denn er lebt nun in einem Kinderkörper. Auch seine magischen Utensilien funktionieren nicht mehr. Sehr zu seiner Überraschung gibt es zahlreiche Menschlinge, die, anstatt ihn zu foltern, versuchen ihm zu helfen. Psychologen rücken dem Dark Lord auf den Leib und sind sich ganz sicher, dass der kleine Junge ein Trauma hat. Dark Lord (oder wie er auf de [...]

    • I picked this up because another reader couldn't stop cracking up while she plowed through it one afternoon. "Dirk Lloyd" is a Dark Lord wizard. He just happens to awake from the climatic moment of a battle with the White Wizard to find that he has been thrown through some inter-planar portal, landed in the body of a pudgy 12-year-old human boy on the planet Earth, and forgotten his true name. Middle school hijinx and black rituals ensue.Here's the passage that sold me:"Ah, I see. Musicians. Hmp [...]

    • Was für ein unglaublich tolles Hörbuch! Ich habe mich in den „ca. 214 Minuten“ (Und wieso eigentlich „CA. 214 Minuten“??? Wenn sie schon „ca.“ schreiben, dann können sie auch aufrunden und „ca. 215 Minuten“ draus machen. Die eine Minute spielt dann ja wohl keine große Rolle mehr!) keine Sekunde gelangweilt. Alleine schon die Idee, aus einem Sauron-artigen Dark Lord einen elfjährigen Jungen namens Dirk Lloyd zu machen, ist schon echt fantasievoll, aber das Ganze auch noch so [...]

    • Lord Voldemort. Sauron. The White Queen of Narnia. They all had to start somewhere…This book plays with the evil genius idea in so many delicious ways; it’s hard to know where to start. For one thing, the cover is fabulous: dead black with just a hint of color and that cruel parody of a smiley face to catch the eye. Then there’s the premise of a dread dark overlord being cast into the body of a puny human boy. Dirk Lloyd is a fabulous creation, funny (when he doesn’t intend to be), ruthl [...]

    • El temible Dark Lord fue expulsado de su mundo por su archienemigo y ahora esta atrapado en un mundo donde todo es extraño. Hay cajas metálicas mágicas, un mo bastante vil y torturas que no duelen, pero lo peor de todo no es eso. Lo horrible, es que esta atrapado. ¡En el cuerpo de un adolescente! No puedo decir con exactitud lo divertido que fue leer este libro. Tenía muchas ganas de leerlo desde que salió y aunque parecía una novelita insignificante, la verdad es que la he disfrutado muc [...]

    • This book started out really good, with a nice sense of humor! I thought I'm gonna like it more than I actually did in the end, because the beginning and the idea for this story was so promising.The characters are all very adorable in their individual way, even the "dark lord" is someone I can't help but want to cuddle and pet on the head saying "there, there" a few times throughout the book.What I didn't like so much was the enlenghtened description or imagery sometimes. The "dark lord" of cour [...]

    • HILARIOUS!! This book makes me want to invent a new work like nerdlarious to describe just how geeky and hysterical this book is. Thomson just takes his concept and commits 180%, taking it to ridiculous places.The premise is this: The Dark Lord has been building his power and wreaking vengeance in his land for millenium. Yet one day is is on the battlefield about to decimate the white wizard and the paladins of purity or something like that when the wizard pulls out a crystal that banished the D [...]

    • I got this because a friend with a 12yo son recommended it - her son found it laugh-out-loud funny. I intended for my 12yo to read it, but the 9yo asked for it to be our bedtime reading. I thought it was patchy, although it's hard to pin down why. Partially because the intended audience was not clear; also because it seemed to have too many loose threads - plot elements that would pop in and go nowhere. Parts (especially at the beginning) were really funny, but they were much more funny to me th [...]

    • The Dark Lord wakes up confused, where is he, why is the sky so blue, what are those repellent fresh smells (not flower he hopes), where is the smell of munitions explosions and the sounds of thousands of his battling orcs reaping destruction throughout his lands? The Dark Lord is disturbed to find that he has somehow ended up in “the pit of despair”, otherwise known as earth. To make matters worse he is stuck in the body of a thirteen year old boy. Now he has to deal with a bunch of meddlin [...]

    • Realmente me ha encantado este libro y si, he sacado a la niña pequeña que vive dentro de mi al leerlo y ha muerto de risa junto con mi parte racional y madura [¿cuál?]Dirk definitivamente se volvió de mis personajes favoritos, es tan malvadamente malvado que se vuelve "cool" para todos que lo rodean; aun que claro todos creen que tiene severos delirios o una inmensa imaginación y Sooz dios quiero saber mas de ella en el segundo libro >.<Todo el libro es cómico, y bastante infantil, [...]

    • For those that think that the teen years are scary, Dirk has a message for you. The Dark Lord has been stripped of his powers and sent to a world of normal people where he is just a normal eleven-year-old. //Dark Lord: The Early Years// follows the Dark Lord, now known as Dirk Lloyd, as he attempts to recover his power, finding out that the regular world is far tougher than one would think. This is a series that kids will love, regardless of age.The "All Ages" classification is full of books tha [...]

    • Dark Lord, Señor Tenebroso, ha sido desterrado a la Tierra y confinado de una forma totalmente cruel en el cuerpo de un enclenque niño humano. Los servicios sociales lo encuentran abandonado en un aparcamiento y creen que su delirio es fruto de algún tipo de trauma o accidente. Pero él sabe la verdad: Hasdruban, el mago blanco, tiene que estar detrás de todo este enredo. Porque? ¿cómo va a ser mentira todo lo que él re­cuerda? ¿Es posible que su imaginación le haya jugado una mala pas [...]

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